Today I woke up fatigued. Not tired from lack of sleep, but fatigued from the times we are living in. Fatigued with everything. Going to the market is fatiguing, people living in a perpetual state of fear and worry from the news of the pandemic,. I’m not looking to get back to normal, normal wasn’t working and I’ve never cared for normal if I am going to be honest. As I ponder this, I realize I am fatigued with living a lie. The whole thing is a lie, we are told so little of what is really going on in the world. If we watch the news we are fed lies that the world is out to get us. We have been manipulated into believing the hamster wheel is the only way. We need to work harder, work more, buy more and feel inadequate. Races, religions, genders, countries, states, cities are all pitted against one another. I like to believe we would all like to live in peace and harmony, yet there is that pull to fill the void within through being better than someone else. There is so much we can learn and share from each other if we could put away the story we’ve been fed. I normally enjoy the quiet, I live a slower life, yet this isn’t slow. The energy is anxiety filled and we are getting very little information on what is really going on. We have shut down our lives. When I allow myself to jump in and listen to the outside world my head spins. The data doesn’t match up, the numbers don’t make sense. My friends husband just got out of the hospital, he tested positive for Covid-19, yet his symptoms didn’t match. None in his family are sick, the friends they vacationed with aren’t sick, the guys he hangs out with aren’t sick and only one other co-worker is sick. I am baffled how this is so contagious but no one close to him has gotten it. I wear a mask when I go out to be considerate of the world around me. I am social distancing and I am sheltering in place. The longer it goes on the more fatigued I get because the worry and anxiety in the world is growing. It is vital that we use our intuition around this virus as I don’t know that we can have faith in those that we expect to give us proper direction, instead we have finger pointing. Once again we are being distracted by fear mongering and blame. What is the next step? What is the plan? All of humanity is in a holding pattern of wait and see? I am finding the fatigue encourages me to do nothing, to waste time as I wait yet I don’t know what I am waiting for nor how long I will be waiting. I keep thinking as the weather gets nicer and I can get out more I won’t be so fatigued. Time in nature always reinvigorates me and clears my head. For now it is windy and cool, so I continue to wait. I long for peace and harmony, a time when our policies and beliefs have changed and there truly is enough for everyone. I long for a time when we can all live from a place of abundance and gratitude and help one another. I long for a time when all people are free. I long for a time when this is behind us, when we can freely move about and enjoy life. I long for a time when we can hug our friends, talk to a stranger and do the things we love. I long for a time when I close my eyes at night and know all is right in the world.