Just another day…

This morning, I laid in bed for a few minutes and counted my blessings. We have a roof over our head, food on the table and our family together. I got out of bed, stretched and was determined to be productive today. Right now the days seem to blur together with little routine. The kids school plan has taken some getting used to, it isn’t consistent. They are bored and getting antsy. I’m less than motivated. Our state has a stay at home order until May 1. The kids are looking forward to returning to school and seeing their friends in May. Prom has been rescheduled for June. The spring musical is on hold. Graduation is as scheduled. However, Germany has cancelled Octoberfest. I don’t want to crush my kids dreams, I do however try to be realistic. They would rather focus on the known and that is, they are going back to school and life will soon resume. I logged on today and in my inbox was a message that our Governor has cancelled in person classes for the remainder of the school year. I’m not surprised but I do have to deal with my kids disappointment. We have a daughter who is graduating this year. She really feels like so much of the hard work was for nothing. I get it, I just can’t do anything about it. They will now have virtual celebrations, awards nights, etc.. At times I have a lot of grief wash over me, I feel sad and disappointed for her at what she will miss out on. I feel helpless and out of control. There’s a good chance she won’t even start out college like she was dreaming. She and her room mate have been planning their dorm room colors, who will get what. So many dreams down the drain. So many “lasts” and “firsts” gone. I understand this is just a moment in time and there will be many more memorable moments in life, but she is to young to know that. She is invested in what had already been planned and with that comes disappointment and sadness. As a parent I haven’t figured out how to ease the pain. Nor do I seem to have been able to convey the importance of feeling her feelings. We are in bubble, suspended from moving forward. Waiting… Waiting for what? That I don’t have the answer to that. As the tension builds in my shoulders, I return to counting my blessings and motivating myself to be productive. We will get through this and be better for it I assure myself. Cheers to all those who have worked hard, dared to dream big and will graduate this spring! Keep dreaming!


Published by ravenfire2020

I am on a mission to claim my wholeness, to change the legacy of dysfunction in my family and discover who I really am rather than what I have been told I am. I left the corporate world to live a slower, more simple life. I am a chicken mama, as well as a mama to four amazing humans. I am blessed to be married to someone who has supported me in my journey and been there to hold my hand when it gets crazy. I love to learn, to read, to hear peoples' stories. I love the changing of the seasons, to get lost in the woods, to soak up the sun and the moon light. Each day is a gift and I am striving to live it fully and aware of the many blessings and miracles that show up in my life. Welcome to my Journey to Wholeness, I hope you will find inspiration and share your journey along the way!

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